Poet Verse

I’ve never really fasted before-not long-term anyway.

I fasted for a week back in 1999 when a doctor thought I might have pancreatic cancer; the tests took a week to complete-and I ended up not going to the last tests because I figured I would find out if I was going to die or not in a few short weeks/months.  I’m still here

I have fasted a day at a time before long trips within the U.S. and abroad-just in case I died en route.

However, I have  never fasted (just to fast).

Part of me is afraid of failure-part of me is looking forward to a cleaner system.

I’m naturally thin, and family and doctors kept commenting on my weight.  I am 5′6″ and weigh (normally) about 105.  Right now-as a result of a fast food and candy diet-I weigh 116.  Yes, I look fine–but I feel run-down because of my diet.

I think, when deciding if a person is too heavy or too thin, that bone structure really needs to be considered.  I have seen women with small bones and high fat percentages and I have seen women with heavy bones and normal body fat percentages-but BMI says they are overweight.  I actually had a friend who was considered overweight by the Air Force; she was not fat at all!  She was tall, had heavy bones, and had a lot of muscle–and a normal range of body fat.

I think it is because I have depression that my weight is considered such an issue.  Well–when sick-I go below 100-and that is too low.  But when I am fine-I am above 100 and that is great for me.

To assume I am unhealthy because of a number is ridiculous.

I am unhealthy right now–from eating so much sugar and fast food.

I can’t even run because I gain weight around my knees–and that-in turn–worsens my knee problems.

So-I am fasting for my health-and freedom from sugar and fast food-and maybe even my addictive coffee with cream and sugar each morning.

During the process-I hope to discover more about my strength and build appreciation for the body that some find objectionable. I also hope to use that time to meditate on G-d and my place in this world-as fasting can be a time of walking hand-in-hand with our Creator.

Questions?

Do I advocate anorexia or bullimia?

No.  I want to build a healthy body by reducing toxins, curbing unhealthy cravings (result of current diet), and by building a future based on appropriate portions, nutritious foods, healthy snacks with occasional treats, and by including gentle exercise with moderate weight resistance (to prevent muscle mass loss).

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For some reason, I can’t get this to Parent–so I will just update this way:

DAY ONE, 27 October 2009

I shopped for about 2 hours at Target trying to get ready for Halloween (including groceries), and I felt fine.  Now it is noon, and I am getting a headache.  I don’t really want to take Aleve so I am going to try a cup of coffee to help the headache (caffeine acts as a vasoconstrictor).

I actually feel pretty good about fasting today.  I didn’t crave all the candy and foods I saw and purchased–well–ok–for some reason my kids’ fruit gummy chews looked enticing–so I just smelled them after I opened them for my youngest.

My little one wanted me to see her new Tinkerbell movie and I really wanted to go and make my coffee–but feeling that pull–that deprivation–made me more sensitive to her needs so I watched a few minutes of it and hugged on her to let her know mommy has time for her.

I think fasting might turn out to be a good experience.  My prior times without food (the pancreatic cancer scare/and the thyroid failure) were not good.  My body deteriorated.  I had to tell myself that this time is different as I am not sick–and I am including juices.

Today is a water fast-with one coffee-tomorrow is juice day.  I will alternate so that I will have strength for all of the Halloween parties (school volunteer for three hours, Saturday Church party, and Sunday mass-in the graveyard-will be cold!).

I’m glad I decided to try this.

** Now that it is 4pm-I feel pretty good.  The coffee helped my headache.  I did a light resistance workout of 10 minutes with 10 pound weights-arms and some squats.  I will walk slowly tonight for 15-30 minutes (not fast), and do some yoga (for relaxation).  I drank some raw honey water after the small workout. 

I don’t really feel hungry.  It is weird.  I actually feel pretty good, and haven’t had any problems keeping up with home-life.

Today, I did several natural facials and tried out a new bronzer-since I don’t like makeup.  I decided to pamper myself today-it has been nice.

Tomorrow-I will definitely bust out my juicer–and what an awesome juicer it is!

UPDATE:  My fingernails  are white and I am freezing cold–and dizzy–so I am breaking my fast for the day.  I think I was too ambitious for what I can handle.  You are right That Girl–I have to keep some strength for my family.

So-this is a modification:

I am going to eat fish and steamed veggies tonight and do a fast tomorrow–and eat in the evening.  I will still use my juicer for lunch and a snack.  Maybe even breakfast-

I’m a little disappointed–but I think I would be more disappointed if I didn’t listen to my body telling me its limits.

Today-my fast was for people who have lost loved ones.

Later Update:  8pm- I found a Ramadan site that listed low blood pressure (the reason for my white nails, coldness, and vertigo) as a symptom of dehydration-which I should have known.  I had a coffee earlier in the day and some herbal tea.  I didn’t keep my fluids up enough-so that is why I felt bad.

I will try again tomorrow with what I learned today–or rather-was reminded of today–ironically on a Muslim Ramadan site–I guess we all fast for the same reasons

I’m going to bed early-I’m exhausted from today’s goings on.

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DAY TWO, 28 October 2009

I am drinking black coffee this morning, but it is mainly because I am cold.  I am going to look into how to use my lemons to make a hot drink today.  I will keep up my fluid intake (mistake from yesterday), and I am going to juice some apples and maybe carrots with it–don’t know–will post later.

Since it is snowing, I made the family cinnamon rolls.  I didn’t eat them.  I thought about it-but I decided sugar was what I was trying to pass up so I declined.  My husband ate my two rolls for me…LOL!

Some people say the Bible says we should not share our fasts with others-so that they do not know we are fasting.  I think, for me, and given the concerns about my weight-that it is important for my loved ones to know that I am doing this to better my health and to grow in the ways of Christ. 

My children know I am fasting.  Do I go around grumping because I can’t eat what they eat?  No.  I just explain to them why I am doing it–and I cheerfully show them that it is a time of rest–and a time to reflect–and to grow as a Christian.

I think the Bible passage meant to not walk around complaining that you are fasting for the Lord–but rather–fast with a joyful heart.

Thanks for reading.

10 AM

I decided to juice:

2 Granny Smith Apples

1 Lemon

A Handful of baby carrots

My husband came down with the flu recently.  I made him see a doctor because of the Swine Flu scare; he hates going to the doctor and taking medicine.  In Colorado, they don’t test for Swine Flu unless you are an advanced case so they just sent him home and told him it was viral.  We all caught it next.

Because he was so sick, I juiced various fruits for him and I think it helped.  I also drank the juice-so I think it helped prevent me from getting it as bad as he had it-I only had a mild case.

My children won’t drink the juice–not yet anyway.

When I first read about the benefits of juicing-I bought several juicers from Wal-Mart-even the new stainless steel Juiceman, but the pulp was so wet that I took it back.

I did more research and found my Breville at Bed Bath And Beyond.  I was skeptical as I took it out of the box.  I had returned 3 previous juicers and didn’t have much faith in my price point-under $200.  The Breville was $150.

After the first juicing, I was in LOVE.  For an introductory range juicer-it works very well.

Yes, you can push whole apples through–but I do this very slowly to extract the most juice.

I don’t like using it for citrus-so I use an electric reamer–which works okay.  I wish I could afford a nice citrus press instead as I see some waste.

I forgot to take a photo of just the apple and lemon juice together.  It looked great!  Lemon juice keeps the apple juice from turning brown-oxygen does enter these centrifugal juicers.  The oxygen begins to break down nutrients so you have to drink it within 5 minutes.

Though the carrots turned it brown–orange and green together=brown–It tasted fantastic!

The lemon was only a hint–the sour apples more prominent–and the carrots made it sweet.

If you are looking for a juicer that doesn’t cost much–The Breville is a good buy at $150. 

After a 30 minute treadmill walk (not strenuous), I drank 15 oz of water, lemon, and raw honey (hot).  I have kept up my fluids today.

I gave myself an organic yogurt facial.

I had some vegetable broth and added some crackers; I also had a bowl of All Bran cereal with a black coffee.

I am very cold.  It is snowing heavily outside, the apartment is warm, but I anm freezing–no one else is cold but me.  That is why I ate something.

I read that you are supposed to taper down on your food before starting a fast–for a few days to prepare your body.  Maybe yesterday and today should be taper days–and maybe I will extend the taper days until Tuesday of next week since I have a demanding Holiday schedule.

I do feel frustrated with myself, but it is okay-one can learn from disappointments.

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Day Three, 30 October 2009

I fasted for breakfast and for lunch. I had lots of water, a cup of coffee, and I made fresh, warmed almond milk.  I learned how to make it last night.  This morning’s batch was much better than the first.  I read that almond milk needs to be warmed for people with autoimmune thyroid disease, like me, because it inhibits thyroid hormones.

I’m mainly practicing building up my ability to prepare food for my family and not eat. 

I realized I probably have a wheat allergy and that is why I swell up when I eat bagels and pasta-I also get a skin rash.

I’m allergic to wool too.  For a while, I could only find wool coats…so I looked for ones with more nylon, lots of lining, and I wear a scarf to keep it from touching my neck (prevents welts).

I’m tired.  I would write more, but I am tired.

I can’t seem to control my eating after I break my fast in the evening so I expect this would be the same if  I fasted for a few days even.  I don’t know what I am doing to cause this amount of hunger.

I’m going to research this a little more. 

Fasting is more difficult than I originally thought.

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NOVEMBER 18, 2009
I’ve decided to fast on Wednesdays and Fridays as it makes sense to do that often rather than stress my body out for a few days and then go back to normal.

I have seven more hours until my 24 hour fast is over.  I was pretty energetic and got a lot done, but now-I am feeling pretty tired.  I am going to rest for the remainder of the day.

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November 20, 2009 Friday

I fasted the entire day and it was so much easier than it had been in the past.  I ate one meal and had an almond milk with honey (warm) before bed.  I think I like fasting for a day at a time (24 hours).  Eating in the evening is more like what I was doing before I began eating several times a day.  I did research and intermittent fasting is supposed to be good for you.  In the past-I would eat one meal a day–but I wasn’t drinking fresh juices or eating healthy foods.  I will do things differently this time.  I ate 3 full meals today-and will fast 24 hours from 7:30 pm today.